One of my passions in life is to help people come to terms with trauma, help them move through their pain and come out the other side, renewed and able to continue with their life.
Trauma is a hard nut to crack, especially when it can effect people for all sorts of reasons. People who experience some form of Trauma can find themselves stuck in their life, unable to cope with what has happened to them and do not know where to turn. This is the reason why I have set up my own business to help navigate people to live a better life and give them tools to help them adapt and make the transition (See Services Tab).
Many people believe that we are just physical creatures, but the truth is that we are not limited to our physical being – we also have a spiritual, emotional, and energetic body. So when we treat our pain, we cannot alone just treat the physical.
For example, taking ibuprofen or paracetamol may relieve your headache or shoulder ache temporarily, but does nothing to heal the actual source of your symptoms.
In short, emotional pain is often the source of one’s physical pain.
There are 6 most Common Types
Neglect & Rejection
This is commonly experienced in our childhood…. and if we never address it, the pain will never heal. It’s a sad fact that this is probably the number one thing that prevents people from healing.
The most common examples of this includes neglectful or abusive parents who fail to care or nurture a child’s emotional spirit.
Other situations include broken friendships, relationship breaks ups, or even when you feel you are being ostracized by work colleagues or family members.
This can lead to low self-worth, complete sadness, feelings of abandonment, which in turn can produce frequent symptoms to include tension headaches, poor posture, furrowed brows, negative self talk and criticism.
Fortunately, there are many things you can do to fix this damage.
One of the strategies that I like to use includes the Replace Negativity Approach.
For each and every negative thought you may have of yourself, you must give a positive one.
In example, if you say to yourself, “I am not good enough”, you have to say something like, “I look good.”
The point is – that by focusing on your strengths and positivity you reinforce the good as apposed to the neglect you have received, this will allow you to desensitize yourself to the pain of both past and future rejection.
Stress is a natural emotion that results when you suffer a traumatic experience, for example the loss of someone. This kind of Stress trauma is extremely difficult to overcome…but it can be done.
The experience of the loss of your own identity for example or the loss of a loved one can shatter one’s assumptions about the world and force us to retreat inwardly and reject those around us.
The shock of loss is like dropping a stone into a pond and can sometime’s take a while to feel the full force of the rippling effect. This is very common and it can be tough to repair immediately and if never recognised, may continue to cause you stress and as a consequence can directly impact on your health.
To begin the healing process, make sure to give yourself enough time to pass before trying to search for ways to open up. You may put yourself at risk for tackling this too soon and cause more disturbances than are necessary.
Guilt & Shame
We are all born with an innate sense for Human Regard. This is where we need to feel loved and accepted. Rejection, loneliness, and loss are painful experiences and can be extremely damaging, as we need those connections with others.
However, in guilt, you are the source of your own unhappiness. The majority of guilt and shame starts from within yourself. Guilt comes as a form of misalignment from one’s moral compass and is commonly experienced in two ways…
Unresolved guilt refers to the feelings left behind when you believe you may not have completely apologized for a wrong you committed against another person even though, in reality, you did all that you could.
In guilt, you can feel that you don’t have the right to pursue your own independent life and succeed on your own path.
So to overcome guilt…you need to forgive yourself first.
After you’ve forgiven yourself, you need to feel that it’s okay for you to re-engage with your life.
Living in the past
Going over and over the unpleasant or disappointing experiences in your life, whether real or imagined, takes its toll on your well-being.
Just like a scar that you pick at over and over again, it will leave a permanent mark unless you learn how to stop.
The first step to start living in the present is to realize that other people don’t see the world the same way that you do.
Most people are selfish and that includes how they view themselves. If you find yourself replaying an event over and over again because it’s hurt you….you need to learn to let go.
We often find it difficult to let go because we wish we could have changed things – but the fact is that those events have already taken place and are preventing us from living a full life in the present.
Letting go is one of the many things I emphasize, as this will help you to heal and release yourself.
We can often feel worthless and useless after a failing relationship or task. Therefore, it should be no surprise then, that failure is one of the main situations that cause this kind of harm.
If we continue to live in the mindset of failure, we start to live in the past…causing us to spin out of balance and create physical manifestations of our hurt in the form of pain or disease.
In order to change your mindset you need to focus on what it means to fail. To know that if you never failed at anything, then you have never lived and only taken the safe options. What’s better…. to have tried, experienced and failed or never to have experienced. Through our experiences, we learn and we grow. That’s what makes us the person we become.
In some respects look at failure as a badge of honor, because to fail means that you tried and no one can tear you down for that!